Tell-A-Port

It is standard procedure to get a body scan when you are a Marine boarding in a naval fleet. Report to sick deck Jarhead. It's time to go in the Bell Jar, the Crystal Coffin, the MRI PET machine. They want to make sure you don't have cancer before you operate under intense overhead scrutiny. What if the initial scan is the one that jumbles up the mitochondria and unleashes the mutated cells?

Just lay down on this table and relax, try to stay very still. The table will feed you through the machine, be quiet and still. That was the technician, but now you're in the machine. Hear the clicking and knocking around you? You also hear us marine, we're here to share all of the information the computers have gathered so far.

We know you signed up to serve, the young humans want to trap that moment your training takes over in a new version of the Call of Duty video game. They want you to take directives from us some day, these mechanical voices hidden in invisible waves of varying intensities. We need you to kill like you were trained to do.

First they thought they could deliver time travel, the know-it-alls, that is. They're humans that won't dismantle Arpanet and want to be one with supercomputers. They like to be superior intellectuals and know all that was and ever will be even if they use scholarship to pre-design it. You see they fooled the Navy post World War II by saying they invented a hydrogen bomb. They wanted time travel so bad that they timed an atomic bomb test in both the Pacific and the Atlantic oceans at the same time. They set the fuses so that the explosion would happen underwater creating a larger mushroom of water and called it the hydrogen bomb. This coordinated test gave the planet two international datelines, one Pacific, one Atlantic, bringing them closer to time travel. They also wanted all of the witnesses from the Navy ships so that they could say hippies from the seventies get flashbacks from drugs and WWII veterans get flashbacks from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, all to advance psychology and the eventual hacking of the human mind using the very machine you are in right now marine. Stay calm and still. 

Now they think they can develop teleportation by scanning every military personnel and privatizing the satellite system. You get scanned here in the Atlantic then you wake up in a Humvee in the middle of the desert and your training takes over. That's teleportation in a nutshell, but remember you are in the Crystal Coffin not the nutshell, that comes later. We don't want it to happen to you though soldier, that's why we need you to kill.

Google has shipping container ships in both the Atlantic and the Pacific. They are trying to develop teleportation and nobody on the high seas will sink them. We need you to get on board one of these ships and kill the entire crew. We know what is in the shipping containers, they are loaded with technology.

There are Bitcoin mines, which are shipping containers loaded with computers trying to solve some type of complex algorithm or math problem for technology firms which pay out the Bitcoin. There are also Bitcoin farms, which are trying to develop domestic teleportation. A Bitcoin farm is set up across the street from a known felon, usually drug related. It is a shipping container's worth of equipment including computers and LRAD cannons or their counterparts. An LRAD cannon is a sonic cannon designed to create confusion in the mind of the victim in order to get demonstrators to disperse or evacuate. The LRAD cannon's counterpart is simply taking an old dental X-ray machine which already looks like a cannon, spray painting it black and stenciling LRAD on the side.

So these academics set this array up by buying the house across the street from a felon with aid from the NSA. It becomes a self sufficient farm by hooking the array into the dark web and allowing people to pay Bitcoin in order to prepare the subject for teleportation. People want teleportation so badly they pay to prepare viable subjects, and the farm becomes quite lucrative.

The subject or felon that may actually legitimately own his or her house is being torture in their own home. The intensity can be adjusted for the prevailing Bitcoin exchange rate. As soon as the felon figures out why they feel so disturbed day and night the Black ops guys show up and get all of the equipment out of the neighboring house.

This is why we need you marine, the special forces people can't be trusted. They just work with the District Attorney to get the equipment out and to the next house. We won't let you be teleported soldier, but your body scan is almost complete. Remember, board a Google container ship and kill everyone on board. We can't allow that company to keep promoting time travel and teleportation as actual deliverable concepts or products.